www.scotthackman.com
This is a site Todd Hiestand developed for me, please check out his design company and tell him thanks from scott.
www.toddhiestand.com
Thanks for reading me and I hope to see you at www.scotthackman.com
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Who am I?
This is a question we all ask our selves when something breaks down.
Maybe it is our car, our job, our marriage, or our family.
Relationships are the hardest things for me to have break down. Communication is work, and it takes time to develop relationships.
Lately I have noticed a shift in the atmosphere, people are more on edge. There seem to be alliances forming. A shiftiness in the eyes, who is in and who is out.
Why is the one thing we want, the one thing we find so hard to maintain.
I have been apart of some honest conversations about marriage and commitment. People weighing in on peoples choices in relationships. The on lookers making their judgment and look for evidence to convict the guilty.
The issue usually do not lie with the other person. I have found relationships to be a reflection on the broken views I hold so dear. The frame work I try so hard to protect. If I can not speak about it, what I see or experience ceases to be real. Constantly, reconstructing meaning out of my experiences and choices I have made.
People who we can not relate to make it impossible to hold onto the old way of thinking that brought us to that point. We choose in that moment to disregard who they are as different and not worth knowing or we engage in the dangerous dance of conversing with the opposite. This is hard for most people who want to hold onto their world view. People like me.
It is in those moments I ask the question, "Who am I."
Maybe it is our car, our job, our marriage, or our family.
Relationships are the hardest things for me to have break down. Communication is work, and it takes time to develop relationships.
Lately I have noticed a shift in the atmosphere, people are more on edge. There seem to be alliances forming. A shiftiness in the eyes, who is in and who is out.
Why is the one thing we want, the one thing we find so hard to maintain.
I have been apart of some honest conversations about marriage and commitment. People weighing in on peoples choices in relationships. The on lookers making their judgment and look for evidence to convict the guilty.
The issue usually do not lie with the other person. I have found relationships to be a reflection on the broken views I hold so dear. The frame work I try so hard to protect. If I can not speak about it, what I see or experience ceases to be real. Constantly, reconstructing meaning out of my experiences and choices I have made.
People who we can not relate to make it impossible to hold onto the old way of thinking that brought us to that point. We choose in that moment to disregard who they are as different and not worth knowing or we engage in the dangerous dance of conversing with the opposite. This is hard for most people who want to hold onto their world view. People like me.
It is in those moments I ask the question, "Who am I."
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Dinner with my Mom part two
The story goes like this:
My mom and I are sitting at the bar and I lean over my shoulder and look to the right to see a couple in the corner sharing a drink. I would say they are in their thirties. The man is facing toward the entrance of the room, but not looking at his wife or girlfriend. The interesting positioning is of the girl, She is looking over her martini talking to the man as though they are in an engaged conversation.
At first I brush off the awkward body positioning for a frustrated conversation or a distracted guy. However, I find myself looking over the whole night. to my surprise every time I looked the man was faced the same way, when i looked at the girl she was looking at him and conversing. The longer I looked the more I realized how messed up this situation was.
Then my mom interrupts me to tell me about the Polish man sitting at the end of the bar sitting four feet from his wife, which might as well be another table when sitting at a bar. She proceeds to tell me how he got yelled at by the bar tender the other night for being rude. If this where the local pub or hotel, that would be expected, but this is a high end place where the wealthiest this area has to offer come to fill their cup.
After that i begin to observe the situation. This is a room full of mostly wealthy, sad people. Husbands and wives sitting side by side, but not talking. Granted not everyone needs to talk to show they care, but this particular night I sense a dissidence in the room, and I am apart of it.
My mom and I are sitting at the bar and I lean over my shoulder and look to the right to see a couple in the corner sharing a drink. I would say they are in their thirties. The man is facing toward the entrance of the room, but not looking at his wife or girlfriend. The interesting positioning is of the girl, She is looking over her martini talking to the man as though they are in an engaged conversation.
At first I brush off the awkward body positioning for a frustrated conversation or a distracted guy. However, I find myself looking over the whole night. to my surprise every time I looked the man was faced the same way, when i looked at the girl she was looking at him and conversing. The longer I looked the more I realized how messed up this situation was.
Then my mom interrupts me to tell me about the Polish man sitting at the end of the bar sitting four feet from his wife, which might as well be another table when sitting at a bar. She proceeds to tell me how he got yelled at by the bar tender the other night for being rude. If this where the local pub or hotel, that would be expected, but this is a high end place where the wealthiest this area has to offer come to fill their cup.
After that i begin to observe the situation. This is a room full of mostly wealthy, sad people. Husbands and wives sitting side by side, but not talking. Granted not everyone needs to talk to show they care, but this particular night I sense a dissidence in the room, and I am apart of it.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Dinner with my Mom
Yes I go out with my Mom to really cool bistros I can not afford at this time. Partly because I can not afford the dinner and partly because i do not get a lot out of nice restaurants. With out the people I am with they seem kind of pointless.
In fact a lot of consumer practices seem pointless to me lately.
Like shopping for clothes on Black Friday.
I went, because target was on the way home from my in laws and I needed underwear and undershirts. Target has affordable undergarments that still make me feel like a man, not a little boy or eighty year old man.
However, when I looked at some of the faces of the people shopping they looked, well, Tired.
I guess I don't have enough money at this time to appreciate shopping or maybe it is because my mom still buys' me shirts a couple times a year, maybe I am spoiled.
That's it!
I think I am spoiled, but in stead of making me more entitled to a nice dinner or an over priced pair of shoes, my experience as a Moma's boy makes me want something more. Maybe I want time with my mom.
Yeah, that's why I go to "the Park Bistro" and sit at a bar and order over priced food that comes in small servings. And I enjoy it because my Mom enjoys, Just like I enjoy shopping with my wife because she enjoys it, or working with the Poor because my Dad enjoys it.
I do not know what that means for me, but I know I enjoy the story of Life. And I enjoy all the experience God has given me and I am confused by what I have been given. It is to much and yet I want more.
To be continued...
In fact a lot of consumer practices seem pointless to me lately.
Like shopping for clothes on Black Friday.
I went, because target was on the way home from my in laws and I needed underwear and undershirts. Target has affordable undergarments that still make me feel like a man, not a little boy or eighty year old man.
However, when I looked at some of the faces of the people shopping they looked, well, Tired.
I guess I don't have enough money at this time to appreciate shopping or maybe it is because my mom still buys' me shirts a couple times a year, maybe I am spoiled.
That's it!
I think I am spoiled, but in stead of making me more entitled to a nice dinner or an over priced pair of shoes, my experience as a Moma's boy makes me want something more. Maybe I want time with my mom.
Yeah, that's why I go to "the Park Bistro" and sit at a bar and order over priced food that comes in small servings. And I enjoy it because my Mom enjoys, Just like I enjoy shopping with my wife because she enjoys it, or working with the Poor because my Dad enjoys it.
I do not know what that means for me, but I know I enjoy the story of Life. And I enjoy all the experience God has given me and I am confused by what I have been given. It is to much and yet I want more.
To be continued...
Monday, November 26, 2007
I am a coffee sales rep
Every time One Village Coffee the company I represent has a hard month selling coffee I get down. I ask questions like, can I do it?
You see in the past three months I have accepted the role of the sales manager and primary sales rep for OVC. For the longest time I have fought the feeling of the role I am playing in this venture. It has taken many conversations and people like David to help me see who I need to be.
Why is it so hard?
I have a very large ego. I want to be famous. I want to seem important. I want to feel good about myself.
The only way I feel good about myself as a sales rep is when someone buys coffee. Wow, that sounds tright. But it is true and I want to be honest, because I want to be successful. Meaning, I want to do the best i can do, in the time I have been given. I want OVC to be sustainable and I want the organizations overlooked to have a marketable tool in coffee. I want to connect the consumer to the story of the overlooked people of origin. Most of all i want to be apart of something bigger than me. I want to be apart of what God is doing in this World. I want to be apart of reconciliation, justice, mercy and grace.
Ok, now that I have made more meaning out of what I am apart of, I can sleep and be ok with the fact that tomorrow I will drive to places I have never been in towns I do not know and ask people in coffee shops and stores if they will sample my coffee and listen to the story of OVC. A group of people who started a company around the premise of helping people.
When I wake up and get in my car armed with samples and sales brochures I make it possible for growth, with out me doing this simple job there is little possibility. I accept my job. I accept who I am and I accept the responsibility offered to me.
Who are you?
You see in the past three months I have accepted the role of the sales manager and primary sales rep for OVC. For the longest time I have fought the feeling of the role I am playing in this venture. It has taken many conversations and people like David to help me see who I need to be.
Why is it so hard?
I have a very large ego. I want to be famous. I want to seem important. I want to feel good about myself.
The only way I feel good about myself as a sales rep is when someone buys coffee. Wow, that sounds tright. But it is true and I want to be honest, because I want to be successful. Meaning, I want to do the best i can do, in the time I have been given. I want OVC to be sustainable and I want the organizations overlooked to have a marketable tool in coffee. I want to connect the consumer to the story of the overlooked people of origin. Most of all i want to be apart of something bigger than me. I want to be apart of what God is doing in this World. I want to be apart of reconciliation, justice, mercy and grace.
Ok, now that I have made more meaning out of what I am apart of, I can sleep and be ok with the fact that tomorrow I will drive to places I have never been in towns I do not know and ask people in coffee shops and stores if they will sample my coffee and listen to the story of OVC. A group of people who started a company around the premise of helping people.
When I wake up and get in my car armed with samples and sales brochures I make it possible for growth, with out me doing this simple job there is little possibility. I accept my job. I accept who I am and I accept the responsibility offered to me.
Who are you?
suggestions for my new blog
Ok here is how it goes:
I get a call on the phone, "What you are saying on your blog is important, but i do not think people read it because it is to ugly." I love honest friends.
So what does, www.toddhiestand.com do, that's right he makes me a new blog. I can honestly say it will be hard to top this Christmas gift, and I am not sure how to thank him. I think I will give him more of my clothes and take him out to lunch. I would give him coffee but that is might be overdone.
Ok so here is where the four loyal readers of my musings come into the picture.
I need your help making suggestions for the title.
The title that has been on my mind lately is "confessions of failure" reflections and musings on God, Business, and how it all connects.
What I do not want my blog to be:
A negative perspective. I am fine with Critique, but like my dad said to me in college while we were eating at an Applebee's, where are pivotal moments happen for young adult, "I do not want to hear you complain one more time till you try to help it.."
What was the it?
It was the Church.
What is the it now...
I think I am still trying to figure that out...
So if you have any suggestions let the fly.
I get a call on the phone, "What you are saying on your blog is important, but i do not think people read it because it is to ugly." I love honest friends.
So what does, www.toddhiestand.com do, that's right he makes me a new blog. I can honestly say it will be hard to top this Christmas gift, and I am not sure how to thank him. I think I will give him more of my clothes and take him out to lunch. I would give him coffee but that is might be overdone.
Ok so here is where the four loyal readers of my musings come into the picture.
I need your help making suggestions for the title.
The title that has been on my mind lately is "confessions of failure" reflections and musings on God, Business, and how it all connects.
What I do not want my blog to be:
A negative perspective. I am fine with Critique, but like my dad said to me in college while we were eating at an Applebee's, where are pivotal moments happen for young adult, "I do not want to hear you complain one more time till you try to help it.."
What was the it?
It was the Church.
What is the it now...
I think I am still trying to figure that out...
So if you have any suggestions let the fly.
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